Daily Archives: 10 January 2010

Fantastic Four 282 (September 1985)

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You know, when John Byrne said Hispanic women with dyed hair looked like whores or whatever, I figured he knew how to draw Sue Storm to look like a chick instead of a John Byrne dude with a crappy haircut. I grew up on Man of Steel so I think I always gave Byrne a bit of the benefit of the doubt, but his work on this issue of Fantastic Four is terrible.

I mean, his figures and his action are fine, but his faces? Johnny Storm looks more like a kid than Franklin Richards. Franklin and the Power Pack (wow, if that doesn’t sound like a gay porno, what does?) appear to be dwarfs of approximately forty-years of age. It’s laughable. And Franklin hanging with a tough-looking My Little Pony? Whatever.

The writing’s way too expositional and the issue seems, well, “decompressed.”

The dialogue’s pretty lame too.

CREDITS

Inwards to Infinity!; writer and penciller, John Byrne; inker, Jerry Ordway; colorist, Glynis Oliver; letterer, John Workman; editors, Michael Higgins and Mike Carlin; publisher, Marvel Comics.

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Deadpool Team-Up 1 (December 1998)

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People read this crap? Deadpool‘s the stupidest comic book character I’ve ever read and this might be one of the worst comics I’ve ever read. A gaggle of drunken rhesus monkeys would write a better comic book. Seriously, Marvel prints this crap–and people who want to be taken seriously still work for them?

But let’s skip the narrative content here and instead concentrate on the artwork. The artwork is absolutely atrocious. It looks like a less talented Scott McDaniel, which is a stretch. It’s Pete Woods; it’s beautiful, wonderful, I love him, Pete Woods. And he’s awful. He does the cartoon-influenced McDaniel crap without the enthusiasm (like that sly complement, enthusiasm doesn’t suggest any actual skill or talent) McDaniel infuses in his crap.

I’m trying to think of a comic book I’ve disliked more. I mean, I’ve probably read worse ones, but not by much.

What incredible garbage.

CREDITS

Turning Japanese…or Little Demon Inside; writer, James Felder; penciller, Pete Woods; inker, Walden Wong; colorist, Shannon Blanchard; letterer, Richard Starkings and Comicraft; editors, Paul Tutrone and Matt Idelson; publisher, Marvel Comics.