Justice League 3000 1 (February 2014)

Being insincere and not funny are two things Justice League 3000 can’t handle. It’s a dumb idea–in the future, the Wonder Twins clone the Justice League so they can save the galaxy. Only there are problems. For example, Superman is a lot like the Giffen/DeMatteis Guy Gardner, only with some Ultimate Captain America thrown in. He and Batman threaten to kill each other every few panels. Then Batman quips about kryptonite. 3000 isn’t just not funny, it’s desperately not funny. Keith Giffen gets a plotting credit, so he isn’t as responsible as J.M. DeMatteis, who scripts this terrible dialogue. He’s … Continue reading Justice League 3000 1 (February 2014)

Green Lantern: New Guardians 3 (January 2012)

During the opening scene of this issue, Kyle Rayner–imbued with the powers of all the rings… well, not really but Bedard misses that plot hole–starts spewing like a Red Lantern. He spews while speaking Bedard’s dialogue, which proves a nice metaphor for the issue in general and Bedard’s writing in particular. Obviously, not all of the problems are Bedard’s fault. He’s not the idiot who named the Orange Lantern leader Agent Orange, he just works for the idiot who did. It’s a strange issue in how little happens. The ringless (but still able to survive in space and still possessing … Continue reading Green Lantern: New Guardians 3 (January 2012)

Deathstroke 2 (December 2011)

I’ll get to the horrors of Deathstroke in a minute, but first I wanted to cover one of the issue’s revelations about the new DC Universe. Its cable news network is apparently called DCNN. You know, DC News Network. This “Easter egg” is the kind of lame detail from a bad superhero startup press in the nineties. Shared universe and all that nonsense. Okay, on to the issue. I’m not being uncomplimentary enough and it’s boring me. The cover to this issue makes it look like Deathstoke might fight a Transformer. He doesn’t. He fights a boring guy in a … Continue reading Deathstroke 2 (December 2011)

Robocop: Wild Child 1 (January 2005)

What can I possibly say about this comic book? This partial comic book (it only runs twelve or thirteen pages, though Avatar charge three bucks for it). It barely features Robocop and does so in what I assume was going to be the Avatar Robocop continuity, which never got off the ground (the company, OCP, is in ruins, the cops are on strike–Robocop and Lewis are the only two working cops). It’s a deep dark secret from the past coming into the present story, only the exact nature of the secret is never clear. A relative of Lewis’s returns to … Continue reading Robocop: Wild Child 1 (January 2005)