Girl Comics 3 (September 2010)

Colleen Coover does another lame intro for issue. It seems better than usual, probably because of the atrocious first story, from Marjorie Liu and Sara Pichelli. It’s a Wolverine and Jubilee talking heads story; Liu’s dialogue is indescribably bad. Next is another stupid Power Pack story from long-time writer Louise Simonson. June Brigman and Rebecca Buchman’s art is nearly okay, but clearly not ready for prime time. Lea Hernandez’s attempt at being “cute” with Wolverine and Magneto is lame. Ann Nocenti and Molly Crabapple do a Typhoid Mary story. The indie art doesn’t fit the poorly written story. Even Kelly … Continue reading Girl Comics 3 (September 2010)

Girl Comics 1 (May 2010)

Marvel should have tried harder with Girl Comics. It’s way too easy just to say, Girl Comics is bad comics. The opening from Colleen Coover is weak. It’s so trite, the story featuring Nightcrawler getting saved by a nameless woman (writing by G. Willow Wilson, art by Ming Doyle) doesn’t seem so bad. The writing’s weak, but the art isn’t. The next story, a Venus story (which breaks Atlas continuity), is okay. Trina Robbins’s script is okay and the Stephanie Buscema retro good girl art is nice. Valerie D’Orazio and Nikki Brown then do a surprisingly effective Punisher tale. It’s … Continue reading Girl Comics 1 (May 2010)

The Uncanny X-Men and the New Teen Titans 1 (September 1982)

I’m hard-pressed to think of a worse comic than The Uncanny X-Men and the New Teen Titans. Besides the Chris Claremont writing, which is atrocious, laughable and so on, there’s the Walt Simonson art. I’m not a big Simonson fan, but I’d never thought he was capable of being terrible or incompetent (he’s got some Liefeld body proportions here). So it’s not even pleasant to see. Terry Austin does his many dot backgrounds, which is cute, but he certainly doesn’t fix the awful art. The story involves Dark Phoenix and Darkseid teaming up. Big whoop. Claremont tries to introduce a … Continue reading The Uncanny X-Men and the New Teen Titans 1 (September 1982)

Marvel Graphic Novel 17: Revenge of the Living Monolith (1985)

I’m not even sure where to start. About half the comic deals with the Living Pharaoh’s origin and his escape from prison. It’s a strange origin; he seems a lot like an Egyptian Peter Parker for a bunch of it (you know, if Peter weren’t a college dropout or whatever). Michelinie does everything he can, for a while, to making the character sympathetic and tragic. Then the Living Pharaoh kills his daughter and the sympathy is out the window. He’s got a cult of followers and she’s, unbeknownst to him, now one of them. The whole Egyptian cult thing–there are … Continue reading Marvel Graphic Novel 17: Revenge of the Living Monolith (1985)

The Uncanny X-Men 203 (March 1986)

I’m banging my head against the wall trying to figure out this question–how the heck did Uncanny X-Men sell? I mean, Claremont’s writing is the wordiest drivel I think I’ve ever read in a mainstream comic book, possibly because he refuses to shut up. He writes on and on in his exposition, on and on in his declarative dialogue. It’s just endless. Unfortunately, the Beyonder doesn’t kill all of the X-Men this issue and I really, really, really wish he had. They’re all obnoxious and whiney. Only Storm comes across as less that a complete twit and only by a … Continue reading The Uncanny X-Men 203 (March 1986)

The Uncanny X-Men 202 (February 1986)

Say what one may about Romita’s artwork, but damn if he doesn’t draw the cutest little feet on the Beyonder the last issue? Does Secret Wars II really boil down to penis envy? Similarly, even with Claremont’s awful writing–he really thought he needed to explain Cerebro to readers in an endless expository thought balloon–he does pack the issue. It’s a chore to get through it, because it’s so lame, but it’s a packed issue. Lots of thoughts, lots of action, lots of dialogue. Though I don’t know where Nightcrawler went. He wasn’t in the big battle scene. The more I … Continue reading The Uncanny X-Men 202 (February 1986)

X-Men vs. Agents of Atlas 2 (January 2010)

Wait, what? Okay, I get it. Agents of Atlas can’t make the grade sales-wise so there need to be team-ups–Parker’s the best writer Marvel has working on their mainstream stuff right now (sorry, Ed, but I can’t forgive some of the Daredevil and X-Men lows)–someone realizes it and doesn’t want him to jump ship to DC, who wouldn’t appreciate him, but he more jibes with their stuff anyway. This issue reveals the whole series just to be an Atlas comic. It’s got nothing to do with X-Men other than as a McGuffin. I mean, whatever, I get it… but still, … Continue reading X-Men vs. Agents of Atlas 2 (January 2010)

X-Men vs. Agents of Atlas 1 (December 2009)

Ok, so I’m not sure it’s really a “versus” book. I mean, sure, it’s got the Atlas guys fighting the X-Men, but it’s really just an Agents of Atlas issue with an X-Men crossover (much like the New Avengers crossover early in the Atlas series). Parker does an unsurprisingly fantastic job, though I wish there’d been a little more recap–I can’t remember if Venus got snatched in the Atlas finale, though I know for sure Parker did start laying the groundwork. He mixes the unfunny X-Men brilliantly with the humorous, but serious, Atlas team. Pagulayan’s artwork is excellent as always, … Continue reading X-Men vs. Agents of Atlas 1 (December 2009)