3 Guns 2 (September 2013)

3 Guns ends with one of the more homoerotic scenes I can think of–brown-haired guy wet in a speedo and blond-haired guy (not wet in a speedo) facing off with some more of Grant’s macho man dialogue. You can actually hear “Macho Man” in your head during the scene. If only artist Laiso spent as much time on his perspective as he does on the brown-haired guy’s chest, 3 Guns might actually look professional. But he doesn’t. Grant and Laiso don’t spend a lot of time on action, which kind of implies Laiso can’t draw it or Grant doesn’t want … Continue reading 3 Guns 2 (September 2013)

3 Guns 1 (August 2013)

It’s amazing how Steven Grant can write such atrocious, painfully tough dialogue but still plot out a good comic. I can’t possibly recommend 3 Guns because the dialogue is so silly but the story beats are pretty dang good. Guy on the run is discovered, made to do a job for some bad guys, discovers his former bromance partner is working for the other bad guys, has to agree to the job with his bad guys then Grant reveals the girl is actually playing both sides. It’d be great film noir if Grant weren’t trying to turn it into an … Continue reading 3 Guns 1 (August 2013)

Robocop: Mortal Coils 4 (December 1993)

It’s so, so bad. I mean, I thought since Grant turned in a decent third issue, he might be able to pull off a fourth too, but no. It’s just awful. It’s hard to explain how bad it is without sitting down and reading it because it’s just so unbelievable. Grant goes for this melodramatic ending and then somehow gives his terribly paced limited series too many endings, the first time showing the inspiring human spirit of Robocop with his girlfriend–sorry, sorry, his female lab technician friend–and then having a comedic finale with the U.S. government about to kill Robocop … Continue reading Robocop: Mortal Coils 4 (December 1993)

Robocop: Mortal Coils 3 (November 1993)

Holy cow, Robocop, it’s almost an okay issue! It doesn’t take much for an issue of this series to be better than before, since the first two issues–and lots of this one–are so exceptionally terribly, but this issue does have some imagination to it. No, not imagination, sorry, what was I thinking… not imagination. Storytelling competence. Steven Grant’s probably written two thousand comic books, it’d be hard for him not to have one acceptable moment and he does, here in the third issue, and it’s a pretty good moment. Robocop saves some crooks who are going to strip him for … Continue reading Robocop: Mortal Coils 3 (November 1993)

Robocop: Mortal Coils 2 (October 1993)

The problem, occasionally, here at Comics Fondle is the length constraint. Each review of a standard issue is one hundred and fifty words. I have five words to say about Robocop: Mortal Coils issue two. What a piece of crap. So how to fill the other hundred words? Does it matter what’s wrong with it? I mean, does one even have to read further to figure out why a licensed property comic from the nineties is a piece of crap? Doesn’t it go without saying the writing is awful and stupid and misogynistic? I did like seeing some reference to … Continue reading Robocop: Mortal Coils 2 (October 1993)

Robocop: Mortal Coils 1 (September 1993)

How to start… maybe licensing Robocop 3 instead of Robocop is a bad idea. I mean, it’s not like The Terminator, where licensing got all split up, sequel after sequel. Dark Horse could have gotten Robocop and not had to do sequels to Robocop 3, right? This issue is Robocop in Denver. It’s kind of like Passenger 57 is Die Hard on an airplane. No, it’s not. Look at how hard I’m trying to figure out how to talk about this tripe. Denver is apparently worse off than Detroit, which is stupid and doesn’t fit into the movie mythology–it’s another … Continue reading Robocop: Mortal Coils 1 (September 1993)

Robocop: Wild Child 1 (January 2005)

What can I possibly say about this comic book? This partial comic book (it only runs twelve or thirteen pages, though Avatar charge three bucks for it). It barely features Robocop and does so in what I assume was going to be the Avatar Robocop continuity, which never got off the ground (the company, OCP, is in ruins, the cops are on strike–Robocop and Lewis are the only two working cops). It’s a deep dark secret from the past coming into the present story, only the exact nature of the secret is never clear. A relative of Lewis’s returns to … Continue reading Robocop: Wild Child 1 (January 2005)

Robocop: Killing Machine 1 (August 2004)

Avatar was charging three bucks for twelve pages of story? When’s Marvel going to get on that bandwagon? Amusingly enough, Killing Machine‘s about the best Robocop story I’ve read from them. It’s just a simple adventure of Robocop. It establishes its ground situation, it aggravates the situation, it just works. More, there’s even some actual character stuff with Robocop and Lewis. The artist, Ricardo, he draws a lousy Robocop, way too cartoonish, nowhere near enough detail (or height, Ricardo draws a short Robocop). But other than Robocop–and the evil robot, which I’m pretty sure is actually a Spider Slayer (Marvel … Continue reading Robocop: Killing Machine 1 (August 2004)